THE WHAT IFS

There's nothing quite like a car wreck to put things in perspective.  This is especially true when your babies are in the car.

On Saturday afternoon, we were all driving to the grocery store to pick up some ingredients for a Mother's Day meal the next day.  Some girl drove straight in a left turning lane, T-boning the driver's side of our vehicle.  Thankfully no one was hurt and the damage appears to be minor.  Needless to say, it really got me thinking of all the what ifs of those moments that led up to the accident.

What if there wasn't a red light a few moments before to slow everyone down?  What if instead of the 20ish mph, the girl who hit us was instead going the speed limit of 50 mph?

In my 2.5 years of motherhood, I've thought a lot of the what ifs and should haves.  They don't drown me in anxiety like they probably do some, but on a perfectly carefree day, I can sometimes catch myself thinking of all that can go wrong.  I imagine it's pretty common to mothers to think this way sometimes, because we have a whole lot more to lose than we did before children.  Or maybe it's not.  Maybe it's because I lost my own mother when I was 13.  Either way, I often count my blessings that can very easily be taken for granted, because life is sometimes too busy to appreciate those little moments.

So in honor of Mother's Day, I want to share my thankfulness for the small blessings that usually don't make the cut.

Firstly, I'm enormously thankful for my two little girls and my wonderful husband.  That almost goes without saying, but it shouldn't!

I'm thankful I get to change every diaper, because baby butts are the cutest.  

I'm thankful I get to do my family's laundry and remember that the hard-to-treat stain is there because my two year old thoroughly enjoyed her meal.

I'm thankful for a toddler who likes to help with dinner prep, because she'll grow up with the memories of cooking in the kitchen with her mama.

I'm thankful for every time my baby can't fall asleep unless she's in our arms, because we're the last thing she sees before she goes off to dreamland.

I'm thankful for the wild bird's nest that is my toddler's hair in the morning, because I get to brush it into uber adorable pigtails.

I'm thankful for when my two year old is wild, because my 5 month old falls into fits of laughter over it.

I'm thankful my house is strewn with toys, because it means children live and play here.

I'm thankful for a baby who wakes to nurse in the middle of the night, because it means she's growing.  

I'm thankful for the little bumps and bruises, because they are healed by a parent's kiss.

I'm thankful for the skipped naps, because it means more time with my children.

I'm thankful for the separation anxiety babies go through, because it means they feel safe with me.

I'm thankful for the weeds and small rocks in my pocket, because my daughter thought they were treasures and wanted me to have them.

I'm thankful for the what ifs, because they remind me to be thankful.

And lastly, I'm thankful for red lights, because the what ifs are enough.

SWIMMING & BISCUITS

It's been in the upper 80s here for a while now.  I'm pretty sure we just live in an endless summer.  I mean, we were wearing shorts on Christmas Day.  And for a gal that lives for cardigan weather, well, it's heartbreaking.  

Violet's been asking to go swimming nearly every day this past week.  And just in case I happened to forget, she'll point outside and remind me, "Look, it's a pool out there!"  So this weekend, we knew we needed to take a break from our usual, lay back, and enjoy some swimming and biscuit-making!

Violet is our little sous-chef.  She loves helping in the kitchen.  When Lena's napping, we get dinner prepped and she is so proud at dinnertime.  It's the sweetest thing.  She's a talkative little chatterbox.  All day long she tells me things like every time she sees a bird in the sky, or a lizard (she calls them wizards) crawling around, or that birds eat the red berries on the bush outside with their "mouth beaks."  And there's no sweeter sound than hearing her say, "I love you."  Absolutely nothing at all.

Lena is now almost 5.5 months old.  She's scooting around all over the place, especially during diaper changes.  I think it's rude, but she thinks it's her time to shine.  She flips over so fast, pulls herself up into a crawling position and then somehow she thrusts her body forward like she's about to take-off flying. 

I love watching my two girls loving and laughing at each other.  Their sweet innocence is my daily reminder to just enjoy these little moments.  And since I finally joined the rest of the modern world in creating an Instagram account, you can better follow our adventures @thepolkfolk or you can click on the handy little Instagram icon over on the right-hand side of the blog.

AN ESCAPE TO LOUISIANA

Between moving to a new state, having a baby, Jon's studying, and small DIY projects around the house, we hadn't left the Houston area since we moved here nine months ago.  We really needed to escape, so we planned a much needed week long visit to Louisiana the week of Easter.

Violet was actually a pretty good road-tripper.  So what that she watched The Aristocats on loop!  Lena, on the other hand, needed to be entertained by me the entire seven and a half hours it took us to get there.  Her entertainment, included, but wasn't limited to, me singing, making animal noises, making strange noises, making farting noise, clapping, snapping, playing peek-a-boo, shaking rattles, and of course trying to explain to a 4 month old that she was being irrational.

And since both of our families were all in town, we decided to have Lena baptized on Easter Sunday at our hometown church, which coincidentally is where Jon and I met as kids.  Lena wore the very same gown I wore when I was baptized (and so did Violet two years ago).  Violet wore a beautiful dress from Blue Dove with bees hand-smocked on it.

Violet and her cousin, B.G., had a little Easter egg hunt in Jon's parents' front yard.  She loved finding all the hidden eggs, and would give each one a kiss before she dropped it in her basket.  And even though B.G. could have scooped up most of the eggs, he was so sweet and left a bunch for her to find.

  

Even though it rained most of the days we were there, it was nice escaping the Texas heat to visit friends and family, eat some crawfish, and play outside with the girls. 

We're looking forward to our next adventure, which hopefully isn't too long off! 

KIDS ARE CRAZY

Kids are crazy.  Y'all.  CRAZY.

To be fair, Lena's not really old enough to be doing crazy stuff.  But, she is going through some sleep regression, which has mama tired.  So tired.  I was checking out at the grocery store when a college-aged girl told me how she gets baby fever whenever she sees babies.  I told her to set her alarm clock for every hour and a half and see if she still wanted a baby in the morning.  Then she told me she might wait until she was 35.   

Lena's got the cutest double-chin and the cubbiest thighs ever.  I can't wait for warmer weather so I can see them all day long. She's a little over 3.5 months old and she's already bossy.  If she wants to be held or entertained or fed, she's not one to be shy about it.  And she pretty much thinks Violet hung the moon.  Jon and I try all kinds of things to get her to giggle, and all Violet has to do it jump a little and she's in a hysterical fit of laughter.

Violet is approaching 2.5 and she is so smart and funny.  She loves to play with building blocks and stack random items as tall as she can.  And she yells oh no timmmmbbberrr when they fall. 
She just transitioned from her crib to her big girl bed.  The monster has been released!  She hasn't been napping for a while now.  Occasionally she'll surprise me with one though, so we still go through the routine so we can both get a break.  I can see her in the monitor sneaking out of bed to grab her hat or 17 stuffed animals and quickly hop back into bed. 

She says oh goo-ness when you blow big bubbles.  She shoved a rock up her nose.  She sings Let It Go when she should be napping.  She refers to each of her fingers as daddy finger, mommy finger, brother finger, sister finger, and baby finger.  She's obsessed with shapes.  As I try to type this very post, she keeps shoving different objects in my face to ask me what shape it is.  Her current favorite book is Chicka Chicka Boom Boom, or as she calls it, chicken chicken boom boom boom.  A few days ago, she walked up to me with her back hunched over and whispered, It's big one poo poo...and it was.  And a couple Sundays ago, she pulled on a pair of my granny panties underwear under her dress and we didn't find out until we were in church.  

As for me, I've started having postpartum hair loss, which really allows me to express myself through shower wall art.  And last week, I made the mistake of trying on some pre-baby jeans.  It was about as depressing as Matthew's death on Downton Abbey.  Jeans just don't know me like leggings do.  And I'll tell you another thing, if ever there is a zombie apocalypse, I hope I'm wearing leggings, because I barely survive a regular day in skinny jeans.

 Lastly, to share some exciting news for our family, after 5 years and countless hours of studying, my sweet husband has passed his seventh and  final exam to become a licensed architect!  Hip hip hooray!

TWO MONTHS WITH TWO

Lena turned two months old last week (err week and a half ago).  Time is definitely going by much faster than it did with Violet.  And oh boy is it exhausting.  The problem isn't that I'm not getting great sleep, it's that I remember what great sleep is.  I now know why parents don't let their teenagers sleep in.  Payback.  Another mom at my midwife's office actually told me she loved the newborn stage and wished her own daughter could have been a newborn forever.  I was so tired, I couldn't even comment.  I just gave her this dead stare for who knows how long.  I guess she recognized the look and said, "oh yeah, except for the lack of sleep part." 
Seriously, sometimes my only personal objective for the day is to brush my teeth.  That's it. Sometimes showering is just an unrealistic goal.  I pretty much feel like an Olympic gold winner if I don't have lizard breath and am not wearing pajamas.  What did stay-at-home moms do before yoga pants and top-knots?  Whatever it was, it sounds depressing.

 

Age:  2 months, 1 week, and 3 days

Stats:  11.4 pounds.  Girlfriend has rolls on her toes.  She's already too long for her 0-3 month clothes.  And this child is strong.  Try to lay her down and she'll grab whatever she can, shirt, hair, face, with a Vulcan death grip.  Opening her dainty little fingers is like prying open a crocodiles jaw.

Sleep:  At night, this girl is a rockstar.  Usually she sleeps in stretches of 4-6 hours.  However, the other night she slept 8.5 hours straight.  Seriously, when I woke up, it was like I'd been to a spa.  Naps are a whole different story though.  She's a cat napper.  And those are the worst, just so ya know.

Sleep is such a popular topic.  I've had complete strangers ask me how she sleeps.  So weird.  If someone asked me how I slept at night, I'd be awkwardly walking away backwards.  Those people aren't even that bad though.  The worst are the ones who are like, "Ohhhhh, my daughter slept 12 hours straight from 5 weeks on, so I can't really relate."  Those people make me want to drink.

Milestones: Lots of smiling and cooing.  From the moment she wakes up in the morning, Lena is just a bundle of smiles.

Favorites: Lena loves diaper changes and bath time.  So maybe I should just say she loves being naked?  Hopefully this isn't a problem someday.  She also loves being talked to, being held, outside, and nursing.  

As for Violet, besides being the coolest sister ever, she's also the sweetest.  Any time Lena cries, Violet says, "Nena kay (Lena okay)?" or runs to her saying "Coming Nena, coming!"  And whenever Lena is on her activity mat, she always tries to lay down next to her.  And she always tries to be extra gentle. (Toddler heads are like bowling balls though, so ya gotta be careful!) 

Things are getting easier (or more manageable) everyday.  I try to remember the advice I was given shortly after Violet was born.  Everything is a phase.  When it's hard, know it will pass (and substitute meals for coffee)  And when it's easy, savor it. 

LENA'S HOME BIRTH STORY

 

I know there are at least a few people who think I'm kinda crazy for having a home birth.  I know this because people told me I was crazy for having a natural birth with Violet.  To be fair though, I did tell people that I was bringing a hot-plate to the hospital so I could cook up my placenta afterwards and never mentioned I was joking.

It wasn't until we moved to Texas that I even considered having a home birth.  Our home in Louisiana was just a little too far from a hospital to feel comfortable about giving birth at our house, but our new home is less than 5 minutes away, so I decided to start researching the possibility.  It really didn't take much convincing though, because I hate hospitals.  There were a few months during my pregnancy where I was under the care of a high-risk OB because of a low-lying placenta and I feared that not only would I have to deliver in a hospital, but I might need to be induced, or worse have a c-section.  Thankfully though, my placenta moved to where it needed to go and I was cleared for a home birth.  Hooray!

Two weeks before my due date, I got a call from my midwife.  She needed some unexpected surgery and wouldn't be able to deliver my baby.  Had this been my first pregnancy, this is probably where I would have freaked out.  Being my second though, I really didn't care who delivered my baby, as long as they knew what they were doing. 

A week before my due date, I woke up around 1:00 a.m. with mild contractions that felt like menstrual cramps.  The day before, I had my 39 week appointment and we were trying to guesstimate when I might go into labor because my in-laws were coming in town in a few days to help with Violet.  I was only dilated 1 cm and my midwife said, "Well, I don't think you'll go into labor tonight or even tomorrow."  That's called irony, folks.

I tried to sleep through contractions until I went into active labor, which was about five hours later.  Contractions during this time felt stronger, longer, and more painful, but definitely bearable.  One thing I learned during my labor with Violet was the more you tense up during contractions, the longer labor will last.  When the contractions got to the point where I needed to brace myself, I tried to calmly breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth until it had passed.

At 6:00 a.m., I called my midwife, or rather my back-up midwife, and let her know it was game time. Also at this time, Jon started getting the inflatable birthing pool ready.  It took about five minutes to inflate.  While it was inflating, Jon removed the shower head and connected a long hose to it that fed the water into the pool.  In total, it took a little over an hour to fill the birthing pool.  Jon also laid down some plastic sheets on the floor and a canvas drop-cloth on the bed to protect it from water and possibly blood.

At about 7:30 a.m., I was finally able to get into the birthing pool.  I'm not sure why, but it just feels more comfortable to be in labor in warm water, so it was a relief to finally get in.  I knew that I had about two hours until Violet would be waking up, and since there was no way Jon's mom would make it in time, I felt an urgency to deliver before she woke up.

At about 8:30 a.m., I started to go into the transition phase of labor.  Contractions were long, intense and definitely painful (though not as painful as I remembered them being with Violet), with about a minute's break between them.  While I tried to find a comfortable position to labor in, my midwife told me that if I could bear it, kneeling in a lunge position would speed things up.  This position was definitely more painful.  I could feel Lena squirming and it caused some intense pressure in my pelvic region.  My midwife showed Jon how he could help relieve some of this pain by hold my hips with an inward pressure while I rocked side-to-side slightly as I went into a contraction.  Despite the intensity of this position, I chose to be in it because I knew I couldn't delay the inevitable.  I've been through a 12 hour labor before, and if I could do anything to speed things up this time, I was all for it.  I'd say that this part of labor was the most painful.  In fact, I may have dropped the f-bomb a few times.

At 9:29 a.m., after eight hours of labor, I began pushing.  I don't really remember much about this time because it all happened so quickly.  As Lena was crowning, my midwife asked if I wanted to feel her head.  I said no, because I wanted to just get this over with.  As Lena's head was coming out, my midwife told me to try to push very gently, allowing my contraction to push her out, which prevents tearing.  Once her head was born, my midwife told me to give one more big push for her body.  I remember thinking, "This is going to hurt," and I pushed with every ounce of energy left in me.  After only six minutes of pushing, Lena Rose emerged, and I reached down and pulled her onto my chest.

 

During this pregnancy, one of my biggest concerns was what to do with Violet when I went into labor.  We'd recently moved to Texas and our closest family was six hours away.  We had friends who could help with Violet if there was an emergency, but at the time Violet seemed to be going through separation anxiety.  I was really worried about how traumatic it could be for her if she had to go with people she didn't really know well.  I tried to put these worries at the back of my mind though, and just pray for the best.  And really, things could not have happened more perfectly.  I went into labor in the middle of the night while Violet was sleeping and literally while I was pushing, she woke up and I could hear her singing her ABC's.  I'm so thankful things went so smoothly, but I'm mostly thankful to be able to have given birth in my own home, in my own room, while my daughter slept soundly in hers.

P.S.  I always get excited when I hear someone wants to have a natural birth, so if anyone has any questions, feel free to comment or e-mail!

CHRISTMAS 2015

The Christmas season has always been my favorite time of year.  Being a kid at Christmas is spectacular, but having kids at Christmas far exceeds the joy I knew.  I loved reading Christmas stories, decorating the tree, and talking to her about Santa.   

Every year, we've taken pictures of Violet near the tree to send out with our Christmas cards.  We wanted to continue that tradition this year.  Let me just say that taking pictures with a toddler is hard.  Homegirl had to be bribed with the promise of chocolate to keep her from trying to stand on her head.  And you know what happens when you don't follow through with your bribe immediately?

This.  This is what happens.

After some tears and some chocolate, we were able to snap a couple of good ones.

Truthfully, Christmas morning was probably more exciting for Jon and me than it was for Violet.   As soon as Violet walked into the living room, she went straight to her new workbench.  This workbench is so neat because she can actually hammer and screw pegs into boards.  We could barely pull her away from it to open the rest of her presents.  When we finally did, she insisted on opening them while wearing her fox mittens.   And Lena totally slept through the whole event.

All day long we lounged in our pajamas, played with toys, read books, and just enjoyed our time with each other.  Really, every day with our girls is such a blessing and Christmas was certainly no different.